"Lord I Believe...Help My Unbelief!"

A few years back I organized a virtual pilgrimage for my parish, Saint Margaret of York, presented by the North American Lourdes Volunteers. It was through the Lourdes Volunteers that I first experienced Lourdes, and subsequently volunteered in Lourdes with them. After this virtual pilgrimage took place, a parishioner contacted me sharing that he felt his son had a healing that took place as a result of the graces of the virtual pilgrimage on that November night in 2013. 

I had traveled to Lourdes a few times prior to the virtual pilgrimage, had encountered the message of Lourdes, and even learned of the many miracles and inexplicable cures that have taken place there. Yet, did I really believe this still happens today? Does Jesus, through the intercession of His Mother, still heal those who come seeking physical, emotional, and spiritual healing? I would have liked to have said with unequivocal doubt, "Of course I believe this. I believe that Jesus does still perform miracles- that He does desire to heal us all of anything that ails us." Yet, like Thomas in the Upper a Room after Jesus' resurrection found himself saying, "Lord I believe. Help my unbelief.", I too found, and still find, myself echoing this same prayer. So, when I received an email from the father of the boy claiming his son had received a healing from the intercession of Our Lady of Lourdes on the evening of the virtual pilgrimage, I didn't really know what to think. 

Fast forward three and a half years, and I found myself this past week discovering Lourdes through the eyes of this same child, subsequently one of my students a few years ago, and his family, as myself and Adam journeyed to Lourdes with them in thanksgiving for the gift of his healing. I listened as he shared that his favorite part of the pilgrimage was going in the baths. I observed him finding fascination in the stories of those who have had miracles that have taken place in Lourdes. I witnessed him bravely agree to share his testimony and story with the medical doctor at the sanctuary, who is entrusted with the job of determining if in fact a miracle did occur through the intercession of Our Lady of Lourdes from a medical perspective. And, I was reminded that this young boy, my friend Trevor, was placed in my life as my student and spiritual child to teach me a profound lesson- a lesson in faith, a lesson in hope, and a lesson in love. What a witness he and his family continue to share and give glory to Jesus, through Mary's intercession, for his healing, and more importantly for the gift of faith given to their family as a result of his healing! 

Our meeting with the doctor in Lourdes! After taking this picture, he asked that we air drop it to him so he could tweet about meeting an American family! And tweet he did! 

Each summer, as I pray over the class list of my incoming students, my prayer is always, "Lord, please place the students in my class whom I need to learn something from. And please, use me as a humble instrument in their lives to draw them closer to You." As the upcoming school year approaches, I pray this same prayer fervently. I am in awe of how the Lord continually answers prayers- prayers for healing, prayers for my vocation as teacher and soon-to-be wife, and prayers for many other things. As I rejoice in gratitude for the time in Lourdes spent with my fiancé and my student's family, I pray that Our Lady may continue to intercede for myself, my family and my students to draw us closer to Her Heart and the heart of Her Son! 

Our Lady of Lourdes...pray for us

Saint Bernadette...pray for us 

Mary conceived without sin...pray for us who have recourse to thee! 

The Blessing and The Gift

Lourdes...a place so near and dear to my heart. A place, that just eleven years ago, I so intimately met Our Blessed Mother and encountered the presence of Christ in a profound way. Since Holy Week in 2006, I have been drawn to Lourdes four more times. Each time Our Lady and Her Son have made it abundantly clear why this small town in the Pyrénéens tugs at my heart in an indescribable way. 

Sure, it is beautiful- breathtaking actually! The hills of the mountains envelop the town of Lourdes in a majestic sort of way, casting their light and shadows upon the small but bustling town. Yet, in the sanctuary of Lourdes, the peacefulness and quiet hush reign. The cacophony of prayers being prayed and sung in a variety of tongues from around the world unite to form a melodious worship of Jesus and give honor to His mother, Mary, and her yes- her yes to being the mother of Christ, our spiritual mother. 

I recall the first time I entered the baths in Lourdes, greeted by the loving embrace of fellow volunteers from around the world, who had given of their time to continue to pass on the message of Our Lady of Lourdes and greet all pilgrims with that warm embrace that Our Lady greeted Saint Bernadette with in 1858. This message of love, of embrace, was one I vowed to continue to strive to pass on to those whom I meet, especially my spiritual children. 

This time, my visit to Lourdes was different, though, than the previous ones. Rather than volunteering in the baths, I had the joy and privilege of sharing the message of Lourdes with those I most love- my fiancé and my spiritual children. Together, we followed what Mary asked of Saint Bernadette- that people pray for sinners, wash in the waters, and come in procession. We explored the sanctuary together, bathed in the waters of Lourdes, participated in the Rosary Procession, and received the sacrament of reconciliation. We relived a part of Saint Bernadette's life, as we traced her footsteps in the local town and visited the home she was born in and the house she lived in during the apparitions. 

I had set out to create an experience of Lourdes for my fellow pilgrims, and in doing so, Our Lady drew me ever-closer to Her heart, and thus the heart of Her Son. As I experienced Lourdes anew, through the eyes of first time pilgrims, three of whom were children, I was once again drawn back to the heart of Our Lady and untied with her mission of drawing others to Her Son by being His disciple. Lourdes was, once again, a blessing and a gift to me and my fellow pilgrims. 

As we return home this day, I am renewed in mission to spreading Her message and drawing others to Her Son, by learning from her about how to be a disciple of Christ. May she continue to lead us all ever-closer to Jesus. Amen 

Our Lady of Lourdes...pray for us

Saint Bernadette...pray for us 

Mary conceived without sin...pray for us who have recourse to thee! 

Goodbye Holy Land

The sun set for the final time on our pilgrimage, as I enjoyed the fellowship with my traveling companions at our farewell dinner today. 

Sunset over the Mediterranean Sea!

It's hard to believe a mere ten days ago, I was preparing for the trip of a lifetime. In some ways, it feels like the Holy Land has been my home for weeks on end. And yet in other ways, I feel as though I have only just arrived. When we prayed our novena, prior to our trip, there was a line that read something to the extent may I never be the same after going to the Holy Land. The Lord has answered this prayer and so many others in the last ten days. I went to the Holy Land as a person in love with the Lord, and I have left the Holy Land with an ever-deeper love of the Lord, gratitude for His gift of life and sacrifice, and a deeper understanding of my Catholic Christian faith. I have been renewed in my zeal to live a life that strives for sainthood (holiness) through daily prayer. I desire to share the blessings of this pilgrimage with family and friends, as well as students and strangers. You see, the Lord touched my heart in a profound way over the past ten days, as many of the pilgrims in my group experienced. When you trace the footsteps of Christ, receive His gift of the Eucharist where he died and rose, and reflect on His saving works, how can you not be changed? I know it will take me days, weeks, even months to process the experience I had in the Holy Land. My prayer is that it will lead to a lifetime of gratitude and evangelization. 

Friends to share the journey with! 

Our final day in the Holy Land threw us a few curve balls, but it was a good day! We were scheduled to go to the site of the Transfiguration, Mt. Tabor. Unfortunately, the shuttles needed to access the site were not running today for some reason. As a result, we were not able to go to this holy site. So, we got back on the bus and continued driving south towards Mt. Carmel. Here, in the third largest city in Israel, Haifa, we had lunch that can with a magnificent view of the Mediterranean Sea. The typical Mediterranean fare capped off ten days of family style meals, served in three courses. We have definitely had our fair share of hummus, pita bread, salads, and chicken. :) After lunch, we drove a short way to the church we were going to use for celebrating Mass, since we were unable to do so on Mt Tabor. 

Lunch with friends that have become family this week! 

A side note here of explanation...The Catholic Church is comprised of a variety of rites. For example, there is the Latin Rite (Roman Catholics), the Byzantine Rite, the Maronite Rite, etc. Each of these rites have a very different way of celebrating the liturgy, but they are all Catholic. In Israel, the most common rite is the Byzantine Rite. The Melkite Catholic Churches are in the Byzantine Rite. Byzantines, unlike Roman Catholics, do not use unleavened bread for communion. The Byzantine Rite however uses leavened bread. Because this church was a Melkite Catholic Church, they did not have hosts for us to use. Luckily, the priest traveling with us is a biritual priest. This means he has the faculties (permission from the bishop) to say both theRoman  Catholic Mass and the Byzantine Divine Liturgy. Therefore, he celebrated Divine Liturgy in the Byzantine Rite. It was an interesting experience. This was my second time attending Byzantine Divine Liturgy. It is very different from the Roman Catholic Mass I am used to, and I had no ideas what was going on or what I was supposed to do. However, it is beautiful to be exposed to other rites within our church and experience how they pray and celebrate Liturgy. 

After Mass, we headed to Caesarea, an ancient town from the time of King Herod. This town, today, is a combination of past and present. On the shore of the Mediterranean Sea lies the ruins of a past once filled with chariot horse races, Roman theater, and a beautiful palace for the king. It is also the place where St Paul was imprisoned after his second mission trip for two years, before being sent to Rome to be tried. Here, we reflected on how sharing the faith can lead to persecution, martyrdom, awkwardness, and vulnerability. But, once the faith is shared, it takes the evangelizer to a place where only Jesus can fill their heart, and this is all that is needed to overcome the fear that may be a result of sharing the faith. We were challenged to keep our resolution to spend time in prayer, to remain open and say yes to the Lord, and to help make our churches and schools unstoppable, as the first church was in the time of the Acts of the Apostles. 

Ruins of Caesarea! 

Ruins of the palace of King Herrod.

As I journey home Lord, and in the days and weeks to come, I pray for the grace to continue to reap and live the blessings of this pilgrimage. Strengthen me in my resolve to live a life of prayer, a life devoted to sharing Your light and love with all I meet. Equip me with what I need to share about You and Your saving work. Jesus, thank you- thank you for this experience and for the gift of You, my Savior, my Lord, my redeemer, my friend, my all in all. Amen

Smoy friends with our guide (Jack) and bus drive (Yassir)! 

Blessings, 

Julie 

Jesus' BFF- Peter!

Today was all about Jesus' best friend, Peter, and the ministry of Jesus. It was an amazing day! Most of the pilgrims share this feeling, and yet we can't pinpoint exactly why. Perhaps it's because we all relate to Peter. He was so real, so human, so authentic. I think most of us can identify with him in his desire to follow Jesus, his moments of denying Jesus, and his drive to build the kingdom here on Earth. Or perhaps it was the focus on Jesus' ministry, and as teachers we can all relate to this. Or maybe it was the focus on the Eucharist and how Jesus meets each of us in the breaking of the bread, just as he did with his disciples after the Resurrection. Regardless, it was a day filled with an abundance of grace! 

Our day began with a visit to Capernum. This town is located just a few miles away from Tiberius where we are staying. Here, we were able to see the ruins of the Synagogue and Simon Peter's house. It was in this place that Jesus gave the promise of the Eucharist. We reflected on how of all of Jesus' miracles, the most miraculous was Jesus making himself known to us in the breaking of bread. When we met Jesus in the Eucharist, we need to leave our whole heart there. He desires to pour himself and his love upon us, if we invite him to. After an amazing talk by our guide, we went into the church, located directly above the ruins of Simon Peter's house. We had Mass here, and I had the opportunity to lector. What a blessing! I love proclaiming God's word, and it made it so special to do so in this holy place. Fr Thomas reminded us in the homily that God's time (kairos) is not our time. Therefore, each time we celebrate Mass together, reading the word and receiving Jesus in the Eucharist, we are truly present right when that was happening. 

Simon Peter's house ruins! 

Ruins of the synagogue across from Simon Peter's house! 

Lectoring at Mass at the church of St Peter! 

Statue of St Peter in front of Sea of Galilee! 

After Capernum, we headed to the location where Jesus multiplied the loaves and fishes. We reflected on how life in Christ is never lacking. He always has abundance for us, as He did by making the loaves and fish abundant, and he always has more to pour upon us, if we remain open to Him and His workings in our lives. 

John teaching at the site of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes! 

After a few minutes of silent prayer, we traveled by bus to the seashore of the Sea of Galilee. We rode a boat in the Sea of Galilee and were able to observe all of the sites we have visited over the past few days from a different perspective. We were treated to a demonstration of how the fishermen of Jesus' time casted their nets over the side. We also learned that in this freshwater Sea, there are nine species of fish. We reflected on putting out into the deep. Where is Jesus asking me to put out into the deep and give more? Definitely something to reflect on...

A view of the boat we were on! 

St Margaret girls on the boat! 

Demonstration of casting nets into the deep! 

This was what the boats looked like in Jesus' time! 

After lunch, our final stop of the day was to the Primacy of Peter. It was here that Jesus called Peter and Andrew to come into the shore, after His resurrection. Jesus prepared fish over a charcoal fire, and it was, again, in the breaking of the bread, that his disciples recognized him. Jesus is inviting us to share his life and show us his mission so that we can live it. We were able to see the actual rock upon which Jesus prepared the meal. We had personal prayer time on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. And, we had the beautiful opportunity to receive the sacrament of reconciliation from Father Thomas, who was in the person of Christ. How amazing to receive His mercy where he showed His mercy and love to his disciples. John, our guide, reminded us that "repentance is when you so profoundly find God's love andare wrapped  in it. Then, we can become more like it."

Praying at the Prinacy of Peter! 

Rock upon which Jesus placed the food he prepared for his disciples! 

Jesus, thank you for the incredible blessings today. Thank you for your love, your mercy, and your invitation to join you in Your mission. Give me the grace to respond with a generous yes today and always! Amen

Blessings, 

Julie 

To Jesus Through Mary

I woke up a bit early to capture the sunrise over the Sea of Galilee. Oh my goodness- our Lord does not disappoint! It was so stunning and breathtaking! What a way to start the day! 

This morning our day began with a trip to Cana. This is the location of the first miracle of Jesus and the beginning of his public ministry. We were blessed to celebrate Mass here, and the four married couples on our trip renewed their vows, which was awesome! While at the church, we were able to see one of the jugs that the waiters at the wedding used to fill with water, that Jesus then changed into wine. We reflected on the goodness of God and how He always desires to continue to pour out His graces and blessings upon us. This church held special significance for me, as Adam and I are preparing for marriage. I was able to pray in a special way for the Lord to lavish blessings upon our marriage and family. We also reflected on how Mary leads us to Her Son, Jesus. 

Outside of the church where the wedding feast at Cana took place! 

Jug, originally used for ceremonial Jewish cleansing rituals, that the waiters used to fill with water. Jesus turned this water into wine! 

Couples from our group renewing their wedding vows. 

Lighting a candle and praying for our upcoming  marriage and family! 

After Cana, we journeyed to Nazareth. Here, we visited the Basilica of the Annunciation. We first saw ruins of Joseph's house and workshop, which are in the crypt of the church. We had a good amount of time spend in prayer, and we reflected on Joseph's prudence and his need and dependence on God, just like us! 

Ruins of St Joseph's house and workshop! 

We then walked right next door to the other church, which is where Saints Ann and Joachim (Mary's parents) lived. It was here that the angel appeared to Mary and asked her to be the the mother of God. Her yes to doing God's will is why we, today, have the opportunity to go to heaven and be with her and her Son for all eternity. It was so amazing to see the site where the angel appeared. Here we were able to join in praying the Angelus prayer with the Franciscan Friars who take care of the church. It was a beautiful liturgy. I also was able to light a candle for my mom in this church on the day of her surgery. (God answers prayers! Her surgery went better than expected and she didn't have to stay overnight, which was the original plan. Thank you Mary for interceding for her!) In the basilica, countries throughout the world have donated art depicting Our Lady. It was beautiful to see the different representations of Our Lady. My favorite was the one from Singapore, depicting children on earth and in Heaven praying to her! 

Lighting a candle for my mom! 

Art from Singapore depicting Our Lady and the children! 

Mary's home (behind the altar) where the angel Gabriel appeared! 

After lunch, we journeyed for quite sometime to the mountain where Jesus gave the sermon on the mount. Here, we were met with a paradise of sorts. The flora and fauna was beautiful in the area, overlooking the Sea of Galilee. Our guide led us to reflect on how Jesus used the Beatitudes to call us to a higher standard of living. We trekked down to the cave where Jesus went alone to pray. On our way down, we saw the spot where the multiplication of loaves and fishes occurred.

Overlooking the Sea of Galilee from the Mount of Beatitudes (photo credit to Megan Pacitti)

Praying and reflecting on the Beatitudes 

Church of the Beatitudes 

Cave where Jesus went alone to pray 

Our day ended at the bottom of the hill after the trek down from the cave. It opened to a road which lead to a path that took us to the only waterfall in Israel. This waterfall, called Seven Springs, is a natural spring where Peter and Andrew cleaned their nets after fishing. It was here that Jesus called them to drop their nets and become fishers of men. It was such a lovely spot to spend time in the water, viewing the Sea of Galilee, and marveling at God's beauty. 

Admiring the waterfall! 

Sea of Galilee in the background! 

Jesus, thank you for the gift of this day. Thank you for allowing me to trace your footsteps and visit the places you ministered and taught at. Jesus, may I strive to always follow your footsteps and draw others, especially my students, closer to you. Amen

Blessings, 

Julie 

Goodbye Jerusalem- Hello Gallilee!

This morning wrapped up our time in Jerusalem. It seems like just yesterday we arrived in this beautiful city, full of history of our Christian faith and the life and death of Jesus. We began our day with Mass in Jesus' empty tomb. A chapel has been built around the empty tomb of Jesus, with a marble slab being placed directly above the tomb to be used as an altar. All 47 of us pilgrims packed into the chapel. While Father Thomas was saying Mass, in small groups we entered the room where the empty tomb was an were able to touch the tomb. It was such an intimate moment to be with our Lord in the Eucharist, alive in our hearts, venerating his empty tomb. Christ is risen from the dead! Alleluia! Because of this, our entire lives are different, and the knowledge of this should cause us to live our lives in a way that is different- a way filled with joy, with hope, with longing to be with Him in paradise one day. During my time in the tomb, I was able to pray in a special way for some friends and family who are carrying tough crosses right now- my mom, my student Katie, and my other student Julia and her family. My prayer for them, and all those whom I brought on pilgrimage through my intentions, was that our Risen Christ would bring them hope as they, and we all, carry the cross Christ has entrusted to us. 

Fr Thomas praying Mass at the tomb of Jesus!

St Margaret teachers and staff in front of the chapel built around the tomb of Jesus. 

Our pilgrimage group on the steps of the church of the Holy Sepulcher, which houses Calvary and the tomb of Jesus. 

After Mass and packing up, we visited Dominus Flevit. It is here that Jesus, as He approached the city of Jerusalem for Passover  before the Last Supper, wept over the city of Jerusalem. The spot held beautiful views of the city we have called home and found our Christian roots in over the past few days. We were reminded by our leader John that Christ desires to continue to pour out His blessings and graces upon our pilgrimage. Christ always desires more for each of us because He loves each of us so very much. 

St Margaret friends with Jerusalem in the background. 

Our School of Faith pilgrimage group! 

After lunch, we departed for the region of Galilee. Here, we will trace the footsteps of Jesus and his ministry.we are staying at s hotel  in Tiberius on the Sea of Galilee. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us during the remaining days of our pilgrimage. 

Jesus, thank you for this incredible gift of pilgrimage. Continue to draw me closer to you each day, and may this pilgrimage strengthen me in my pilgrimage towards you in this life and the next. Amen

Blessings, 

Julie